The Single Girl, Part 2

My top five annoying things that people say to people who are single:

5) "Hey, my friend John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith is also single! You guys should really hang out."

Um, ok. I'm glad that we've figured out that Johnny and I have stuff in common like...being single. I mean, how could we NOT get along? We're both single! It's meant to be! Gah.

I could say more about this, but I doubt that I need to.

4) "But you're such a great person...why don't you have a boyfriend?"

Oh thanks, I was just thinking I needed a little salt for that wound! I honestly wonder what they expect me to answer. Perhaps I should say, "Because God is busily building my character and reliance upon Him so that I don't actually NEED the boyfriend that I want." (how about that, steveforpresident?)

Look, the bottom line is: I DON'T KNOW why I'm still single. I just...am. It's not like there is some boyfriend superstore out there and they happened to run out of the model I was looking for on the day when I went, ok? (But a boyfriend superstore--dang, how cool would that be? "I'll take two, please!" Kidding, kidding...)

3) "God's got someone for you, I just know it."

Christians are notorious for using this line. I absolutely refuse to say it to anyone, because quite frankly I DON'T know it. I don't know it for myself, so how could I possibly be sure of it for someone else? This line doesn't make any sense at all; if it was true, everyone would get married before they die, but they don't. Please don't EVER say this to me unless God has revealed it to you in triplicate: dream, Bible, and a neon sign on the freeway, like the sign on "LA Story" that tells Steve Martin what to do. I might believe you then.

2) "Well, we met when I had finally just given up my desire for a husband and surrendered to God."

The implication here is that if I can just manage to not want a man, I'll suddenly get one! This seems totally ridiculous to me the more I think about it. Throughout the Bible are numerous examples of God responding to a human's expressed desire. Look at Hannah in I Samuel begging God for a son, for example. God didn't say, "Oh, I'm sorry, Hannah. I'd love to give him to you, but first you really have to stop wanting him. When you just don't care anymore, then come back and we'll talk."

Well, I do care about getting married (most days, anyway), and I'd rather be honest with God about it. Of course, whether or not I get what I want, God still has my heart. I said "I do" to Him first, and I'm not going to turn around and walk away from Him because I do or don't get married here on earth. But why should I try not to want something that I want to want??

I will now leave you with my Number One Annoying Thing To Say To A Single Person:

1) "Have you tried the Internet?"

You know, this one really speaks for itself.