The Single Girl
My friend Becca said I should write about the plight of single girls in their late 20s. Since I am one--a single girl in her late 20s I mean--I guess that makes me as much of an expert as anybody. So here we go--Becca, this one's for you!
Most days I don't mind being single. There are worse things in life, like, oh I don't know--eating leeches or something like that. If I had to choose between being single and eating a plate of leeches every day for the rest of my life, I would not choose the leeches. (I hear people saying, "That's because she hasn't found the right guy. If she had, she would GLADLY eat leeches as the price of being with him." Maybe they have a point, but I hope not.)
Personally I think my rapier wit and blazing-hot intelligence intimidates men, and THAT'S why I'm still single. This is what I tell myself, because if that's not the case, then I am forced to assume that my physical attraction capabilities are somewhat on a par with a sea anemone, and that is not particularly encouraging.
But then again, I am at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to dating, being a Christian and having to rely on Christian guys to be on the ball. Let me explain the subtleties of dating in Christian culture. Christian girls want to be pursued, and Christian guys want God to speak in an audible voice, telling them which girl is THE ONE before they ask someone out. As far as I can tell, God doesn't seem to cooperate with the guys' wishes, so the girls are left on their own to fume at how lame Christian guys are for not pursuing them. Then they go out with non-Christians, and Christian guys are then left to fume about the lack of quality, dedicated Christian women to choose from in the dating market. A vicious cycle indeed.
Now, some may accuse me of relying more on stereotypes and sweeping generalizations than actual research and facts to make my point, but I don't care. I am not a scientist, people, I'm a WRITER. We don't need FACTS when we have IMAGINATIONS.
I will grant that maybe Christian girls are being a bit unfair in not allowing themselves to consider that maybe when a guy doesn't pursue them, that is a sign that he is not, in fact, interested. But if the girl lets herself think that, she will feel like a sea anemone, and she would rather eat a plate of leeches. So she blames the guy for being clueless, because leeches are just too gross.
It's a very strange scene. Being single sounds positively appealing in comparison, doesn't it?
But I'd like to be not single at some point. Then I can write witty posts about the perils of dating instead. What do you think, Becca?
Check back tomorrow for the second part in The Single Girl series: "Is there a "The One" for everybody?" Unless I change my mind and decide to write about something else.
Most days I don't mind being single. There are worse things in life, like, oh I don't know--eating leeches or something like that. If I had to choose between being single and eating a plate of leeches every day for the rest of my life, I would not choose the leeches. (I hear people saying, "That's because she hasn't found the right guy. If she had, she would GLADLY eat leeches as the price of being with him." Maybe they have a point, but I hope not.)
Personally I think my rapier wit and blazing-hot intelligence intimidates men, and THAT'S why I'm still single. This is what I tell myself, because if that's not the case, then I am forced to assume that my physical attraction capabilities are somewhat on a par with a sea anemone, and that is not particularly encouraging.
But then again, I am at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to dating, being a Christian and having to rely on Christian guys to be on the ball. Let me explain the subtleties of dating in Christian culture. Christian girls want to be pursued, and Christian guys want God to speak in an audible voice, telling them which girl is THE ONE before they ask someone out. As far as I can tell, God doesn't seem to cooperate with the guys' wishes, so the girls are left on their own to fume at how lame Christian guys are for not pursuing them. Then they go out with non-Christians, and Christian guys are then left to fume about the lack of quality, dedicated Christian women to choose from in the dating market. A vicious cycle indeed.
Now, some may accuse me of relying more on stereotypes and sweeping generalizations than actual research and facts to make my point, but I don't care. I am not a scientist, people, I'm a WRITER. We don't need FACTS when we have IMAGINATIONS.
I will grant that maybe Christian girls are being a bit unfair in not allowing themselves to consider that maybe when a guy doesn't pursue them, that is a sign that he is not, in fact, interested. But if the girl lets herself think that, she will feel like a sea anemone, and she would rather eat a plate of leeches. So she blames the guy for being clueless, because leeches are just too gross.
It's a very strange scene. Being single sounds positively appealing in comparison, doesn't it?
But I'd like to be not single at some point. Then I can write witty posts about the perils of dating instead. What do you think, Becca?
Check back tomorrow for the second part in The Single Girl series: "Is there a "The One" for everybody?" Unless I change my mind and decide to write about something else.
posted by grackyfrogg @ 8:15 AM
9 Comments:
At 8:50 AM ,
SingingCowgirl said...
and just to add a bit to that...the christian girls also have only one thing in mind it seems....babies!!!!
At 9:04 AM ,
BeautiPhil said...
"I am not a scientist, people, I'm a WRITER. We don't need FACTS when we have IMAGINATIONS."
I hope I offend none when I say, damn straight :-D
Anyway, that's interesting, and provoking... because, in stereotypical sweeping generalizations, it's true.
Yeah, I haven't dated anyone because I've seen two of my siblings (1 guy, 1 girl) go through several relationships. So maybe that makes me not want to go out with anyone until I'm sure before hand. Then again, maybe I'm just not going out because I switch countries every 6 months or so and that'd be a bit tough on the relationship. I think I'd be willing to not wait for that Audible Voice coming from the Burning Bush that was lit by a Lightening Bolt from God if I either wasn't travelling as much, or met a girl who met my currently rather awkward standards. Which are a desire to travel, do missions work, not mind floating/adventure, have at least a understanding or interest in technology, and maybe have all that now since I leave in a few months. Hmmm?
*tries to think how he can send leeches to the Frogg's residence for Christmas... it'd be a compliment ;-)
At 9:56 AM ,
steve balsiger said...
gracky, im so glad you have finally defined the reasons for your (and other christian women's) being single down to 2 factors: 1) guys waiting for Jehovah God to speak His future plans to them and 2) your physical (or perceived lack thereof) pulchritudeness. its great that you are able to weed out all of those other possible factors, incidently that i struggle with as a single christian, such as 1) the sovereign Lord's perfect timing as he works on conforming me to Him, 2) being forced to rely on relationship with the Lord first for my contentment rather than relying on a girl friend for my ultimate happiness, 3)learn to not rely on the girl to validate my self esteem and fully recognizing the Lord's value of me 4) stabilizing my life to prepare me for the responsibilities of being in a serious relationship, 5) learning the meaning of commitment, i mean really learning what that means and how THAT is the ultmate reason for entering a relationship rather than feelings or selfish needs, 6) a bunch more things i dont have time to write.... ;-) hey being 39 and single gives me "professional single" status. having said all that- if you are interested in dating me call my cell at 408-555-DESPARATE
At 10:17 AM ,
grackyfrogg said...
honestly steve, my post wouldn't have been nearly as funny if i'd written about all the stuff you are talking about, now would it?
At 10:17 AM ,
grackyfrogg said...
honestly steve, my post wouldn't have been nearly as funny if i'd written about all the stuff you are talking about, now would it?
At 11:48 AM ,
grackyfrogg said...
oops sorry about the double post, technical difficulties.
by the way steve, you get serious points for using the word "pulchritudenes", because i actually have no idea what pulchritude means, and in general it is extremely difficult to stump me with vocabulary. good work!
At 1:12 PM ,
grackyfrogg said...
ok, i just had to look up pulchritude, and i'm pleased to see that it means, in short, "beautiful." i am also surprised, becuase it sounds like it should mean "puke." words are weird.
At 10:00 PM ,
BeautiPhil said...
yeah, i also give props to Steve (vote for Steve 2008) for the word... minus the fact that he misspelt it (shame)
now... i shall refrain from embarrassing statments and read the next entry ;)
At 10:28 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Wow! That has to be the best blog ever! :) So funny and yet sooooo serious on some level. I have to say I sort of agree but not completely with your take on the main sorce of singles remaining single. Cause if it really was just girls wanting to be pursued and boys wanting a fiery thunderbolt from the sky then we'd have it figured out, wouldn't we? Us girls could start making a killing on subliminal tapes and that'd be the end of it. :)
Here's my thoughts, of the moment. Single christians have a MUCH higher standard when it comes to dating, and so are MUCH pickier about who'll they'll take. A single girl (or boy) in her (or his) twenties that's not a Christian can just go to a club, enjoy the company of a boy (or girl) or two and then just do the same next week and the week after until one finally sticks for a while. Whereas us wacko Christian-types actually think that there should be a point and some serious boundaries and commitment when it comes to dating. I have friends that won't date anyone until they are sure that they could marry that person. Not sure that's a great thing or not so great, but...
Also, Christian singles have the HUGE questions of why they're single. I love that you wrote all those things about singleness Steve, cause some I agree with and some I just don't believe anymore. Why is it that the situation of being single longer than most must MEAN something? You know what I'm saying? Why do we all have to analyze it, like we're meant for more or less depending on our marital status. None of us is ever going to get it all right before or after marriage. We're all seriously flawed and we'll eventually probably feel that we've made the wrong choice at some point no matter what we've chosen. I'm thinking now that wherever we find ourselves we need to just push ahead and do as much as we can, where we're at, to live lives for Christ.
And my third (and last, I promise) point is that I think we are all such wounded people! And the older we get the more wounded we become and the more wounded we realize we've always been. And as we realize these things we become more and more afraid to share that or burden someone else with that. And I think we become a little less willing to get hurt, voluntarily.
Or maybe it does all just have to do with superficiality. I've never been overly impressed with the fact that pastor's wives always seem to be the most done up and perfect. I'd like to see an ugly woman as a pastor's wife. I want to see a christian boy fall in love with the girl that doesn't fall into today's standards of what's beautiful. Because sadly I don't see much of that. Christian or not, I think we're all still enticed by outward beauty and that not too much will change that.
So... sorry it's so serious! I'll try to be more lighthearted next time, I promise! And I can't wait for your (possible) part 2...
Becca :o)
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