True Confession

I have a confession to make. I don't know how to say this. I am sure a few people's illusions about me are going to be irrevocably shattered, but I cannot deny the hard truth any longer.

I am not a "true fan" of Homestarrunner.

This was made clear to me today through a conversation I had with my brother. He came into the room and said something totally obscure, which was, "I just got a new computer. A Compaq laptop 486." I looked confused (understandably, as I thought).

My brother repeated his cryptic statement. My brow furrowed. "You...got a new computer? Really?" He stared at me. I stared back. Then I said, "What's a Compaq 486?"

There was a pregnant pause.

"You are not a true Homestarrunner fan, are you," my brother said flatly, with a shake of his head.

"What?! Yes I am! I mean..." My voice faltered. I suddenly remembered all the times over the past year when I had not, in fact, gone to the Homestarrunner web site (www.homestarrunner.com) to check up on the latest adventures of Homestarrunner, Strong Bad and all their wacky friends. I saw the truth in that instant, and was devastated.

Because apparently, if I were a fan, I would have known that Strong Bad had got himself a new computer--in fact, a laptop. A Compaq 486. This is the sort of thing "true fans" know. The fact that I didn't brought to light my status as--oh how it pains me to say it--a not-true fan.

I do love Homestarrunner...but I guess I just don't love him enough.

So that is my confession. My heart lies bleeding, but I trust in the unfailing forgiveness of friends and loved ones. Thus ends my baring of soul for another day. How tragic.