Flirtations Remembered

Driving home from church today, a black beemer pulled level with me on the freeway and I looked over in time to catch a sleazy guy's "hey babe" grin. I'm afraid I couldn't help from rolling my eyes. I mean, come on, what does he expect me to do? Pull off to the shoulder and wait for him to come and sweep me off my feet and into his life? Puh-leeze.

But the encounter reminded me of one of the most creative ways I've ever been hit on, and that also happened on a freeway.

I guess it happened about five years ago. I was driving on I-5, on my way to the Bay Area from Los Angeles. I had a little red sports car at the time, a 92 Toyota Celica, and I was cruisin' along at about 80mph--er, I mean, I was going exactly the speed limit, as I always do. Ahem...anyway, at some point, I noticed that a big white pickup truck was keeping pace with me. I looked over, and there is this guy smiling at me (he was in the passenger seat, and there were probably at least 2 other guys in the truck). He was kinda cute, so I smiled back.

Well, we kept driving along, and the next time I looked over, I was surprised to see that he had a laptop computer which he was holding up to the window. To my amazement, he'd written a message in what must have been 1000 point font, and it said, "What is this, the Cannonball Run?"

I had no clue what he was talking about, so I just shook my head and kept driving. But of course, I couldn't resist the urge to look back again shortly thereafter, and then I saw, "Why are you in such a hurry--do you have a date?" (He must not have noticed that I was going exactly the speed limit, by the way. Riiight.)

I had to laugh. The "conversation" went on for the next half hour or so, with him writing questions and me "answering" by nodding or shaking my head. And in the end, I got his phone number.

Of course, I never did call him. But he was cute. And like I said, at least he was creative!

The worst hit-on was when I was about 17. I was going to a sports event with some friends, and as we were walking into the stadium, this guy came along who was trying to scalp tickets or something. He fell into step with us and kept talking even though we didn't want to buy tickets, and then he says to me, "You have really strong legs. Do you play soccer or something?"

Now, it happens that I am a little sensitive about the size of my legs, because they are a bit on the muscley side, and I wasn't pleased at all that he would pay attention to them. This is not the way to my heart, men. Don't ever comment on my legs if you want to go out with me. Don't even say they are nice, because I won't believe you, and I just will be all self-conscious that you were looking at them.

So, much to no one's surprise, I didn't go out with him.

Also men, try to remember that when you ask me out, you are asking ME out, not just my breasts. I was 14, on vacation with my family at Newport Beach and while I was out in the water one day, this guy comes over and asks me out--but the entire time (and I really do mean the entire time), his eyes never met mine. He seriously couldn't seem to stop looking at my chest! I was like, "Hello! I have a face!!! Please look at it!" But he didn't.

I didn't go out with him either.