For Theophilus

in all my work, theophilus, my desire is you will find the one who seeks you so persistently, who draws you ever onward and upward, into his waiting embrace. do not think you can escape him, if you love him! it is good to be a prisoner of hope.

if i can be as transparent as glass, so that the light in me (but it is not of me) can shine for you in a dark place, if i can make you smile, if i can make you think with longing of the one my heart longs for, i will consider myself well rewarded for all my labors.

but i want to tell you that he loves you very much, this God who does not know how to leave you alone. and something good will come of all this doubting, and sorrow, and struggle. you cannot see it now. but neither can you see the beauty of the rose that will one day spring from the seed you drop into the ground. you must trust that the seasons will bring forth the work of the one who set them in motion in ancient days.

he has not forgotten you.

God save and keep you, friend. he loves you and has forgiven you for everything. he doesn't even think of it. as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. his grace is sufficient for you, and oh how he wants you to know it!

therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

do not forget the eternal God who is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. but if you are faithless, he is faithful. he will not let you go; he knows you love him. he knows your heart. as a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear him.

ah theophilus, may you find rest in the midst of all your strivings. i have great hopes for you. may his peace guard you, his light guide you, and his love surround you--always.