Wondering
I'm sorry. I have been horribly unentertaining of late. But it's not my fault.
It's my life's, for being so boring.
Also, I guess I've had a lot on my mind.
Mainly, I've been wondering a lot about the nature of this thing people call being "in love." Probably because I've gone on a few dates in the past month, but so far, I have not exactly been swept off my feet. So, how does falling in love really work? Or does it stop being possible after you hit a certain age? Like, 31? Just as an example, of course.
I wonder sometimes if the whole falling in love phenomenon is nothing but a Hollywood construct. A fantasy imposed on a flimsily built illusion of reality, designed to make us all incapable of committing to anyone on the basis of anything but transitory emotions.
At least, that's what I think when I am feeling cynical.
But in spite of my best efforts, there remains a deep-seated streak of romanticism in me, which makes me hope very much that falling in love is something real. Something I should hope for. Something that is worth waiting for.
I don't really know, anymmore.
Maybe people are right about me. Maybe I am just too picky. Maybe what I want is right in front of me, but I can't see it because I'm looking for some unrealistic ideal.
I wonder.
It's my life's, for being so boring.
Also, I guess I've had a lot on my mind.
Mainly, I've been wondering a lot about the nature of this thing people call being "in love." Probably because I've gone on a few dates in the past month, but so far, I have not exactly been swept off my feet. So, how does falling in love really work? Or does it stop being possible after you hit a certain age? Like, 31? Just as an example, of course.
I wonder sometimes if the whole falling in love phenomenon is nothing but a Hollywood construct. A fantasy imposed on a flimsily built illusion of reality, designed to make us all incapable of committing to anyone on the basis of anything but transitory emotions.
At least, that's what I think when I am feeling cynical.
But in spite of my best efforts, there remains a deep-seated streak of romanticism in me, which makes me hope very much that falling in love is something real. Something I should hope for. Something that is worth waiting for.
I don't really know, anymmore.
Maybe people are right about me. Maybe I am just too picky. Maybe what I want is right in front of me, but I can't see it because I'm looking for some unrealistic ideal.
I wonder.
posted by grackyfrogg @ 8:46 PM
11 Comments:
At 11:23 PM ,
BeautiPhil said...
i've heard stories about love not really being easy and you have to work at it or something like that... i wouldn't know either though...
At 3:17 AM ,
Anonymous said...
You are right. Love is not easy, in the way we think of easy. And it is alot of work, trust and forgiving to keep it going. It needs to be nurtured and given 110% by BOTH people involved, because both need to be trusted, cared for and forgiven. There is no room for continual self-focus in a love relationship. (I admit, I get on my soap box and focus on just me sometimes....usually with trouble following) Love is not, usually, an instant thing that just happens. It takes time, patience, and often sneaks up on you when you least expect it. But enduring love, is so worth the wait. Go on dates, have fun.
At 7:32 AM ,
grackyfrogg said...
so my question is: should one want "sparks"? how important IS chemistry, if love really is something that just happens over time... i mean, will you eventually fall in love with someone simply because they're around alot?
hmmm.
At 9:00 AM ,
eldila said...
In my experience (albeit limited to one love story...but a successful one!), it's the other way around--you don't fall in love because they're around all the time, but their being around all the time does help with the falling in love. Then again, there are probably as many ways to fall in love as there are people. But for my part, the spark happened quite a while after we first met...by which time the bonfire was nicely stoked ; )
At 2:28 PM ,
Anonymous said...
It's not just their being around alot, it is sharing experiences, jokes, sorrows, seeing that person in many situations and seeing their reactions, support, etc. I have had major sparks only to have them fizzle out like a fourth of july sparkler...burns bright and then phttt! My love of 20+ years did not spark me at first, but we shared many adventures, laughs and helped each other through tough times. That's what lasts.
Aunt B
At 2:30 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Forgot to add...then one day it was total magic. Don't know exactly what did it but something changed overnight.
Aunt b
At 2:37 PM ,
grackyfrogg said...
interesting points! so what made you decide to take the marriage step with the person for whom you at first felt little, if any, spark? surely it wasn't only that you felt comfortable around them, and that there were numerous shared experiences! i mean, i have many male friends with whom i feel comfortable, and have shared fun/laughter/adventures/etc with them, but i am not inclined to marry all of them!
but ah, now i see aunt b's last comment: so, there IS magic! well, i guess that's what i wanted to hear...
At 7:08 PM ,
joci said...
This is not on the subject of love, although I am, and I believe it is real, and it was a long time coming.
Anyway I wanted to tell you I did get your thai massage. It was great, you would have really enjoyed it. Those little thai ladies are suprisingly flexible and strong, and oh they are so great for less than $3 an hour.
At 9:23 PM ,
Quesse Lómë said...
I'm not an expert, by any means, on the subject of love, but I listen to wise older people about it. :) I've come to a few conclusions.
1) You can't be too picky, if you're being realistic. (If you expect a PERFECT man, it's not going to happen, b/c only God is perfect.)
2) Love is an action and a commitment, not only a feeling. There are sparks, to be sure, but also, the longer you're in a healthy relationship with someone, the deeper the bond grows. Look at couples who are married for 50+ years!
3) If God's not in it, it's not going to last. In fact, if He's not the center of the relationship, it's not likely to go anywhere. To use the cliche love triangle: Imagine God at the top, and you and your love at the bottom corners. The closer the two of you are to Him, the closer you grow to each other.
Now, for being as young and as whippersnapperish as I am, I hope this helps.
Don't give up. God's got a good one out there for you. :)
At 12:06 AM ,
grackyfrogg said...
oh joci, i am jealous! i wish i could be in thailand, too! but thank you for the vicarious thai massage... and for thinking of me! :)
and quesse, thanks for your thoughts. i appreciate it. :)
At 1:08 PM ,
rraven said...
You know it's real love when it involves a certain ammount of nausea.
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